"The rectory secretary is out this week, so none of the priests will be receiving their massages."

--From a church bulletin as submitted by Brite Templeton of Arizona, featured in the June 2013 Reader's Digest, page 165

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all. LOLOL.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Absolutely, positively not to be missed--read it all and enjoy all the wonderful pictures (Hat tip: AH).

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Children • Marriage & Family • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Check it out--lol.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Sports • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Check it out--lol.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Sports • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

A cat is an animal intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

--Garrison Keillor, Reader's Digest, April 2013 edition, page 117

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Check it out

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Someone apparently hacked into the Emergency Alert System and announced on KRTV and the CW that "dead bodies are rising from their graves" in several Montana counties.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Media • Science & Technology • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all. Clean humor, oh so funny.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Sender 1: . What are your plans for today then?x
Sender 2:Nothing beyond seeing you dead xx
Sender 2:DEAR!!!

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Science & Technology • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Our new minister pleaded with the congregation for help with a church project. After weeks with few takers. he called our house with this deeply felt, if not diplomatic, request: "I am scaping the bottom of the barrel for volunteers and wonder if you might be able to help?"

--Virginia Nifong, of Auburndale, Florida, in the February 2013 Reader's Digest, page 188

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • Ministry of the Ordained • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Would you like to make some extra money, and at the same time run the risk of being eaten by a carnivorous reptile the size of a war canoe? If your answer is “yes,” I have an exciting opportunity for you. It’s called the Python Challenge, and I am not making it up. It’s a real event that was dreamed up by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, which apparently was concerned that Florida does not seem insane enough to people in normal states.

The Python Challenge is a month-long contest; its purpose, according to the official website (pythonchallenge.org) is “to raise public awareness about Burmese pythons.” Q. What do they mean by “raise public awareness about?” A. They mean “kill.”

Read it all.

Filed under: * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all--LOL (hat tip--Abigail Harmon).

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Sports • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

It was a cruel, cruel year — a year that kept raising our hopes, only to squash them flatter than a dead possum on the interstate.

Example: This year the “reality” show Jersey Shore, which for six hideous seasons has been a compelling argument in favor of a major earth-asteroid collision, finally got canceled, and we dared to wonder if maybe, just maybe, we, as a society, were becoming slightly less stupid.

But then, WHAP, we were slapped in our national face by the cold hard frozen mackerel of reality in the form of the hugely popular new “reality” show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, which, in terms of intellectual content, makes Jersey Shore look like Hamlet.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • History • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Wonderful stuff!

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Church Year / Liturgical Seasons • Christmas • Liturgy, Music, Worship • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

A Woman texts her husband on a frosty winter’s morning. “Windows frozen!”

Her husband texts back, “Pour lukewarm water over it.”

Five minutes later comes her reply. “Computer completely messed up now”

--Reader's Digest, January 2013 edition, page 13

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Marriage & Family • Science & Technology • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

When did nuns become funny?

Was it in 1967, when Sally Field first donned her absurd cornette and took flight in the ABC comedy “The Flying Nun”? Maybe it was 1985, when the musical “Nunsense” made its Off Broadway debut — soon to procreate, paradoxically, many sequels. Certainly nuns were safe sport by 1992, when Whoopi Goldberg appeared in “Sister Act,” a movie that later became a play in the West End in London and on Broadway.

Americans began laughing at nuns just as the nuns lost the power to defend themselves. In the early 1960s, Catholic nuns were plentiful, working in schools, hospitals and orphanages, and visible, wearing the habits prescribed by their orders. Today their numbers are diminishing, and many of them wear civilian clothes.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Religion & Culture • Theatre/Drama/Plays • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Religion News & Commentary • Other Churches • Roman Catholic

Oh my &^%, trying to get a four year old dressed in the morning is like trying to gift-wrap a live ferret.

--Playwright David Lindsay-Abaire on his twitterfeed

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Children • Marriage & Family • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all.

This is from the Carol Burnett Show with Harvey Korman as the dentist's patient.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

This has to be listened to--catch it all.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Politics in General • State Government • * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

Check it out. Lol.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Politics in General • Office of the President • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

The comedian Stephen Colbert and Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan of New York bantered onstage Friday night before 3,000 cheering, stomping, chanting students at Fordham University, in what might have been the most successful Roman Catholic youth evangelization event since Pope John Paul II last appeared at World Youth Day.

The evening was billed as an opportunity to hear two Catholic celebrities discuss how joy and humor infuse their spiritual lives. They both delivered, with surprises and zingers that began the moment the two walked onstage. Mr. Colbert went to shake Cardinal Dolan’s hand, but the cardinal took Mr. Colbert’s hand and kissed it — a disarming role reversal for a big prelate with a big job and a big ring.

Cardinal Dolan was introduced as a man who might one day be elected pope, to which he said, “If I am elected pope, which is probably the greatest gag all evening, I’ll be Stephen III.”

The event would not have happened without its moderator, the Rev. James Martin, a Jesuit priest and prolific author who has made it his mission to remind Catholics that there is no contradiction between faithful and funny. His latest book is “Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life.”

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Education • Religion & Culture • Urban/City Life and Issues • Young Adults • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Religion News & Commentary • Other Churches • Roman Catholic

After three months of testimony costing taxpayers over $1 million, a mistrial was declared in a drug conspiracy prosecution in Sydney, Australia, after it was discovered that five of the jurors spent most of their time in court playing Sudoku.

Read it all. I miss Mike Yaconelli--KSH.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

You know what? We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if we would just stay in that place of, hey, we're all screwed up and but for the grace of God none of us have a shot here. We need to have a sense of humor about it; that's kind of the way I've always faced my comedy.

Is the church good fodder for humor? Are we any good at laughing at ourselves?

No, we're not very good at it, but we certainly should be able to laugh at ourselves because we can be idiots sometimes. I think that's the appeal for me. People ask me, "Are you religious?" But I don't like the word religious, because the only people Jesus argued with were "religious" people. I think that's why I love doing this stuff with the homeless guys so much, through Atlanta Mission....They take guys off the street and put them up for a year, help them go through detox and get clean. Those guys get it. They get it better than people in church because they're not clinging to their own self-righteousness. When you're living under a bridge, you kind of understand it's nothing based on you. That's why I love working with those guys. They understand.

Read it all and consider following the link provided to the video on Atlanta Mission.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Religion News & Commentary • Other Churches • Evangelicals

From Jeff Cohen: "My five year old cut off my three year old's hair. A few weeks later, I decided to interview them and get their explanations. Here's what they told me."

Listen to it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Children • Marriage & Family • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all--too cute. "I love monkeys"--lol.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Phyllis Diller, the cackling comedian with electric-shock hair who built an influential career in film and nightclubs with stand-up routines that mocked irascible husbands, domestic drudgery and her extensive plastic surgery, died Aug. 20 at her home in Brentwood, Calif. She was 95.

Her manager, Milton Suchin, confirmed the death but said he did not know the cause.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • Death / Burial / Funerals • * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • Theatre/Drama/Plays • Women • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Check it out. Lol.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

She was a journalist, a blogger, an essayist, a novelist, a playwright, an Oscar-nominated screenwriter and a movie director — a rarity in a film industry whose directorial ranks were and continue to be dominated by men. Her later box-office success included “You’ve Got Mail” and “Julie & Julia.” By the end of her life, though remaining remarkably youthful looking, she had even become something of a philosopher about age and its indignities.

“Why do people write books that say it’s better to be older than to be younger?” she wrote in “I Feel Bad About My Neck,” her 2006 best-selling collection of essays. “It’s not better. Even if you have all your marbles, you’re constantly reaching for the name of the person you met the day before yesterday.”

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Books • Marriage & Family • Men • Movies & Television • Women • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all--hilarious (note the "skip the ad" option at the beginning).

Filed under: * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

This is a whole lot of fun--watch it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Sports • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • * Economics, Politics • Economy • Consumer/consumer spending • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch and enjoy.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Financial services giant Visa held a press event Tuesday to introduce "Visa Voice," a new line of talking credit cards that urges shoppers to just go ahead and buy it if that's what they really want.

Heh.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • Consumer/consumer spending • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Recently, my husband was pulled over for not wearing his seat belt. But Irv was convinced he was being railroaded.

“Officer,” he said in his most condescending voice. “how do you know I’m not wearing a seat belt if my windows are tinted?”

“Because, sir,” replied the officer, “it’s hanging out the door.”

-- Reader’s Digest, May 2012 edition, page 97

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

4.The IE IQ hoax: For one brief, glorious moment, tech reporters thought it just might be possible that people who used the Internet Explorer browser were actually dumber than those who used other browsers. A company called Aptiquant put out a study that seemed to prove it. The story spread like wildfire, until it was revealed to be a hoax. When the truth came out, the guy behind it all had this to say: "It was just a joke, and I didn’t really mean to insult anybody." (Not technically an April Fools' Day joke, but way too good to leave out.)

5. World of Warcraft introduces Crabby, the dungeon helper: On April 1, 2011, Blizzard, the maker of World of Warcraft, introduced Crabby, a giant holographic crab that hangs out at the bottom right-hand region of your screen and helps provide advice and helpful tips as you make your way through Azeroth's dungeons. He's so awesome, and fake.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Blogging & the Internet • Science & Technology • * Economics, Politics • Economy • Corporations/Corporate Life • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

A Day in the Life of a Financial Advisor
by: seyah21

Watch it all--lol.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • Personal Finance • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch and listen to it all. LOL.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • Music • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

[Frank] Carson had left school at 14 with no qualifications and became an apprentice electrician, but at 16 switched to being a plasterer. In his spare time he worked on his spiel as a stand-up comic, a talent that earned him regular appearances on Northern Ireland television. When he was 25 he sold some scripts to the regional BBC station, and became a professional entertainer, touring with the Australian magician known as The Great Levante.

Encouraged to try his luck on the northern club scene on the mainland, Carson was spotted by the television producer Barney Colehan and signed up for his first network exposure on the music-hall tribute show The Good Old Days. Meanwhile on ITV, Carson - having thrice won Opportunity Knocks - was also booked to appear on The Comedians by the producer Johnny Hamp.

This was the show that transformed Carson from an obscure club comedian into a comedy star.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • Death / Burial / Funerals • * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * International News & Commentary • England / UK • --Ireland

Enjoy it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • Psychology • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

While working for the Social Security administration, I helped an elderly woman—who was no longer married—fill out her claim form.

Reading off a question, I asked; “How did your marriage end?”

“Just fine,” she said, grinning a little too broadly. “He died.”

--Willis Bird, February 2012 Reader's Digest, page 86

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Wonderful stuff!

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Church Year / Liturgical Seasons • Christmas • * Culture-Watch • Music • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Just fun--great and wonderful fun. Enjoy it all.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Church Year / Liturgical Seasons • Advent • Christmas • * Culture-Watch • Music • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

I found it there-heh.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Media • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

G. K. Chesterton once wrote, "It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." If one can say with confidence that those on the extreme ends of the political and religious spectrum—left or right—are not known for their senses of humor, Henson surely must have been on to something. Where others found potential bitterness, he found the thread of human foibles; his lighthearted irreverence was as universal as the appeal of his characters.

Henson may have preached self-belief, but all his stories find people desperately in need of (and finding!) help from others. Despite the sometimes insufferable can't-we-all-just-get-along aspect of Sesame Street (and let's face it, Fraggle Rock) much of Henson's work dealt more seriously with human suffering, both self-inflicted and otherwise. The Dark Crystal (1982) is nothing if not a parable of Fall and Redemption, and Labyrinth (1986) has a distinctly Pilgrim's Progress-like, um, progression. Henson may have believed with all his heart in a "positive view of life," but his work reflects a larger truth.

Indeed, Henson understood that to truly reach another person, you must aim beyond the intellect, at the heart—at the unguarded, joyful corner of the soul known as the inner child, which, incidentally, is where Jesus was especially focused.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Movies & Television • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

[KIM] LAWTON: Father James Martin says humor is an underappreciated value in the spiritual life. Martin has written a new book called Between Heaven and Mirth. He says humor, laughter and joy are essential elements of spiritual health.

[THE REV. JAMES] MARTIN [SJ]: If you’re not finding joy in your faith, there’s something wrong with the way you are looking at your faith. And humor keeps us human, basically, brings us down to earth and reminds us that we’re not God.

LAWTON: Martin says all too often, joy has a “disreputable reputation” in religious circles.

MARTIN (in speech): Have you ever been to Mass where the priest says (in boring voice) “And so we join with choirs of angels and their unending hymn of praise, holy, holy, holy Lord?” And you think, if that’s the way the choirs of angels are singing their praise we are in big trouble. (laughter)

Read or watch it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

ROFL--read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Blogging & the Internet • --Social Networking • * Economics, Politics • Economy • Corporations/Corporate Life • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Education • Young Adults • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

My point here is that, in matters of the heart, males have the brains of a walnut. No, wait! That is not my point. My point is that perhaps you women could cut us males a little bit of slack in the move-making process, because we are under a lot of stress. I vividly remember when I was in 10th grade, and I wanted to call a girl named Patty and ask her to a dance, and before I picked up the phone, I spent maybe 28 hours rehearsing exactly what I was going to say. So when I actually made the call, I was pretty smooth.

"Hello, Dance?" I said. "This is Patty. Do you want to go to the Dave with me?"

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Men • Psychology • Women • * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

In a bold new measure intended to address unemployment among young professionals, lawmakers from across the political spectrum agreed on legislation Tuesday to subsidize the cryogenic freezing of recent college graduates until the job market recovers.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • Labor/Labor Unions/Labor Market • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Modern investigators of miraculous history have solemnly admitted that a characteristic of the great saints is their power of "levitation." They might go further; a characteristic of the great saints is their power of levity. Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly. This has been always the instinct of Christendom, and especially the instinct of Christian art. Remember how Fra Angelico represented all his angels, not only as birds, but almost as butterflies. Remember how the most earnest mediaeval art was full of light and fluttering draperies, of quick and capering feet. It was the one thing that the modern Pre-raphaelites could not imitate in the real Pre-raphaelites. Burne-Jones could never recover the deep levity of the Middle Ages. In the old Christian pictures the sky over every figure is like a blue or gold parachute. Every figure seems ready to fly up and float about in the heavens. The tattered cloak of the beggar will bear him up like the rayed plumes of the angels. But the kings in their heavy gold and the proud in their robes of purple will all of their nature sink downwards, for pride cannot rise to levity or levitation. Pride is the downward drag of all things into an easy solemnity. One "settles down" into a sort of selfish seriousness; but one has to rise to a gay self-forgetfulness. A man "falls" into a brown study; he reaches up at a blue sky. Seriousness is not a virtue. It would be a heresy, but a much more sensible heresy, to say that seriousness is a vice. It is really a natural trend or lapse into taking one's self gravely, because it is the easiest thing to do. It is much easier to write a good ,i>Times leading article than a good joke in Punch. For solemnity flows out of men naturally; but laughter is a leap. It is easy to be heavy: hard to be light. Satan fell by the force of gravity.

--Orthodoxy (Rockville: Serenity, 2009), p.103

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Theology • Anthropology • Pastoral Theology

Check it out--heh.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • Stock Market • The Credit Freeze Crisis of Fall 2008/The Recession of 2007-- • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Hari Kondabolu was born in 1982 in the Little India neighborhood of Flushing, Queens, New York. His parents, both medical professionals, settled there when they first emigrated from Andhra Pradesh, India.

Pursuing the American Dream, the Kondabolu family moved to Floral Park, Queens, when Hari was 8 and his younger brother Ashok was 6. Ashok Kondabolu now performs as Dap, the hype man in the hip-hop group Das Racist. Hari and Ashok occasionally team up for The Untitled Kondabolu Brothers Project, an evening of improvised comic cultural commentary. “It was not my parents’ dream to have their sons in the entertainment field,” says Kondabolu, “but they couldn’t be prouder. Our parents provided us that freedom.”

Ravi and Uma Kondabolu raised their sons to be proud of their Indian heritage, so it is not surprising that cultural identity is a prime factor in their respective arts.

Hari (pronounced HUH-ree) complains in his set that Microsoft Word spell check always tries to correct his name to “Hair.”

LOL. Read it all (page 36 ff. of the pdf).

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Psychology • Young Adults • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * International News & Commentary • America/U.S.A. • Asia • India

An unsuspecting Oregon couple's ascendance to YouTube stardom happened by accident....

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Aging / the Elderly • Blogging & the Internet • Marriage & Family • Science & Technology • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

But the euphoria surrounding the plunging arrow sector may be short-lived, as some analysts caution that that investors’ mania for downward arrow stocks may be a bubble, with others warning that downward arrows are increasingly being manufactured in China, where the arrows are mass-produced using far cheaper labor.

For his part, though, Morgan Stanley’s Dorinson sees a silver lining in such gloomy forecasts: “Even if people wind up losing billions of dollars investing in downward arrows, you know what? There’s only one way to show that.”

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • * Economics, Politics • Economy • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Though the event went largely unremarked upon at the time, a report published Monday by the Kaiser Family Foundation has found that the apocalypse, or end of the world, occurred three years ago....

Heh--read it all.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all (Hat tip: Selimah Harmon)

Filed under: * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

Following a recent survey of over 3,000 of our cabin crew, we’ve compiled a selection of the strangest, most unusual requests received over the years. Topping the poll for popularity are “Please can you open the window?” and “Can you show me to the showers?” but the survey also revealed a few, what can we say, unique examples…

“An elderly gentleman who couldn’t sleep in Upper Class first asked for a sleeping pill. When I explained we didn’t have these on board he then asked if the captain could turn the noise down. When I asked what noise he meant, he replied “The noise out there!” “Do you mean the engine?” I asked. “Yes, yes the engine!” I was speechless at first and in the end just replied “We can’t do that Sir, we need the engine to stay airborne…”"

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Travel • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.

--Cathy Ladman, as cited in Reader's Digest, August 2011 edition, page 173

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Marriage & Family • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Read it all--Heh.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

STUCK from Joe Ayala on Vimeo.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Travel • Young Adults • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Filed under: * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

According to a new report from the National Institute for Safety Management, on any given day, the average American's life is entrusted to more than 2,000 different people who are complete strangers.

The report, which shows how any one of these anonymous individuals making a single mistake can easily cause another person's death, concluded that it is only through sheer luck that anyone ever makes it through a 24-hour period alive.

Read it all.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Recently some people stuck a needle into my arm, then put me into a tightly confined space and ordered me to hold my breath repeatedly for nearly an hour. This was not an abduction; I paid them to do these things to me.

Why? I’ll tell you why: karma.

Karma is the ancient Indian belief that what goes around comes around. For example, if you kill a mosquito, that mosquito’s soul will be angry at you, and it will wait patiently — for decades, if necessary — for the chance to be reincarnated as the Comcast customer-service representative you reach by phone when your cable goes out during the Super Bowl. You’ll know it’s the mosquito, because there will be a slight whine in the representative’s voice when he tells you he’s placing you on hold.

Read it all.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Blogging & the Internet • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Religion News & Commentary • Other Faiths • Judaism

Filed under: * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

Watch it all.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • Stewardship • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

From the NPR blurb:

Humor writer Barry has been churning out comedy for more than 25 years, authoring hundreds of columns and more than 30 books. He won a Pulitzer prize in 1988 (which, for us, is what finally legitimized the Pulitzers....)

Take the time to listen to it all--absolutely hilarious (just under 12 minutes).

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

See what you make of the list.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

I'm sorry for putting all that Ex-lax in your milk last year, but I wasn't sure if you were real. My Dad was really mad.

--Bri, age 7, via emailsanta[dot]com, as quoted in Reader's Digest, December 2010/January 2011 edition, p. 181

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Children • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

In these darkening days between Hanukkah and Christmas, here is a story to keep your spirits high — a story of cooperation between Jews and Christians, between people named Seinfeld and Samberg and people named Morgan and Lohan. A story of celebrities putting ethnic differences aside to raise money for charity.

By making fun of — or is that gently teasing? — Jews....

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Religion News & Commentary • Other Faiths • Judaism

One Sunday morning an elderly woman walked into a local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door, "Good morning, ma'am. Where would you like to sit?"

"The front row, please," she replied.

The usher said, "You don't want to do that. We have a visiting preacher today who is really boring."

The woman[,] bristling at the comment, asked, “Do you know who I am?”

The usher said, “No, ma’am, who are you?”

She replied “I am the preacher’s mother!”

The usher asked, “Do you know who I am?”

She said, "No."

He said, “Good.”

--William J. Carl III, The Lord’s Prayer Today (Westminister: John Knox Press, 2006), p.85

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

This is hysterical and well worth the time--listen to it all (just over 12 minutes).

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Children • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Sports • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Jay Leno on undecided voters: "Do we vote for the people who got us into this mess, or the people who can't get us out of this mess?"

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Politics in General • House of Representatives • Senate • State Government • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • Notable & Quotable

Check it out-heh.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • Preaching / Homiletics • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

The four-hour [Union Theological Seminary] session, “Humor in Ministry,” was a kind of seminar in how to do stand-up for God.

The workshop’s leader, the Rev. Susan Sparks, pastor of the Madison Avenue Baptist Church on East 31st Street, moonlights as a nightclub comedian. Her adjunct for the day was another stand-up comic with whom she sometimes works, Rabbi Bob A. Alper, who bills himself as “the only practicing rabbi in the world doing stand-up comedy intentionally.”

Ms. Sparks and Rabbi Alper, invited as part of the seminary’s “field-based” program to teach some of the intangibles of ministry not covered in the divinity curriculum, surveyed the arc of potentially humorous situations — including weddings, funerals and long, hot summer days when even the sermonizer can lose the thread of a sermon.

They discussed the often-overlooked humor in some passages of the Bible, including Jesus’ use of irony and exaggeration, and the ribaldry in the Book of Esther.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Christian Life / Church Life • Parish Ministry • Ministry of the Ordained • * Culture-Watch • Religion & Culture • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Theology • Seminary / Theological Education

AIRPORT-INDUCED IDENTITY DYSPHORIA Describes the extent to which modern travel strips the traveler of just enough sense of identity so as to create a need to purchase stickers and gift knick-knacks that bolster their sense of slightly eroded personhood: flags of the world, family crests, school and university merchandise.....

Read it all.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * South Carolina

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Education • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

From satirical site Lark News:

After spending $2,000 to upgrade his church’s sign, and fighting the board for the money, pastor Chad Thomas was chagrined to see the word "church" spelled incorrectly.

"My secretary was gone that day and I’m not much of a speller — it’s my fault," he says. "I signed off on the final copy."

Read the whole piece.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

--An actual Kansas City Star headline courtesy of the WSJ's Best of the Web

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Media • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

"This is the holy grail of artificial intelligence," said project director Kate Tillman, explaining that the robot instantly performs millions of computations to ensure feelings of unresolved anger and simmering resentment remain deeply buried within its complex circuitry. "We felt we were on the right track when we brought up a personal shortcoming and it paced around the lab muttering, but when it started breaking eye contact and changing the subject, we knew we had accomplished something revolutionary."

Heh. Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Science & Technology • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

That theater, and improv in particular, can make a company or employee more competitive is not a particularly new idea. But what may be surprising is such training has not lost favor during the recession.

Ward has taught corporate and professional classes for 10 years. The recession has not been easy, but he points out: "I'm a for-profit arts organization that has kept the doors open through three of the worst years I've seen in my lifetime."

Indeed, there appears to be enough demand to go around. Transactors Improv Co., also in Carrboro, has long offered what Greg Hohn calls applied improv classes. Hohn, Transactors' executive and artistic director, also teaches the class at UNC'sKenan-Flagler Business School for MBA students.

Read it all.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • Corporations/Corporate Life • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

At a press conference Tuesday, God Almighty, our Lord and Heavenly Father, gave his strongest indication yet that he might soon step down from his post as the supreme ruler of all things.

Don't miss the rest.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

"Normally, I don't go for political jokes — too many of them are getting elected."

--Bob Hope

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

This is one of those minor Internet classics which you may not have seen; if not it really is a lot of fun--KSH.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Listen to it all (about three minutes).

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Google employees once known as “Googlers” should now be referred to as either “Topekers” or “Topekans,” depending on the result of a board meeting that’s ongoing at this hour. Whatever the outcome, the conclusion is clear: we aren’t in Google anymore.

ROFL--read it all.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • Corporations/Corporate Life • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Leaders of the Evangelical Laodicean Church in North America last week announced the publication of a new hymnal. "This is truly a hymnal for the new century," said Presiding Bishop Luke W. Arm. "This collection of hymns really captures the essence of our tradition," Bishop Arm explained. "At the core of our belief is the motto, 'Moderation in all things,' and that applies to our faith life as well. We just don't like to get carried away."

When asked if the new hymnal will help the Laodicean Church attract new members, Bishop Arm replied, "People in today's society get kind of uncomfortable with too much talk about things like commitment and dedication. They'd much rather have a religion that they can turn on or off at will. Our church seeks to meet that need. This hymnal will help with that, I think."

Editor in chief of the new hymnal, Priscilla ("Presh") S. Moment, explained some of the difficulty the committee had in choosing hymns. "Many of the old favourites just won't cut it among Laodiceans," said Moment. "We had to change a lot of the wording to make them fit with our style. We tried to incorporate some new songs into the book, but we had trouble finding Laodiceans interested in writing new music."

The title of the new hymnal, Church Songs, was chosen very carefully, explained Moment. "We didn't want to turn anybody off with threatening words that no one understands any more like 'Worship' or 'Hymn.'"

Here is a partial list of titles included in the new Laodicean hymnal:

A Comfortable Mattress Is Our God
Above Average Is Thy Faithfulness
All Hail the Influence of Jesus' Name!
Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
Be Thou My Hobby
Blest Be the Tie That Doesn't Cramp My Style
Go Tell it on the Speed Bump
He's Quite a Bit to Me
I Lay My Inappropriate Behaviours on Jesus
I Love to Talk about Telling the Story
I Surrender Some
I'm Fairly Certain That My Redeemer Lives
It Is My Secret What God Can Do
Joyful, Joyful, We Kinda Like Thee
Just as I Pretend to Be
Just as I Am, with Lots of Excuses
Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word
My Hope Is Built on Nothing Much
My Faith Looks Around for Thee
O, God, Our Enabler in Ages past
Oh, for a Couple of Tongues to Sing
Oh, How I like Jesus
Onward, Christian Reservists
Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me
Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow
Self-Esteem to the World! The Lord Is Come
Sit Up, Sit up for Jesus
Special, Special, Special
Spirit of the Living God, Fall Somewhere near Me
Spirit of God, Descend upon Their Hearts
Take My Life and Let Me Be
There Is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings
We Are Milling Around in the Light of God
What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus
When Peace, like a Trickle
When the Saints Go Sneaking in
Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down
for the night, Holmes said: "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what
you see".

Watson: "I see millions and millions of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God
is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells
me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Most of us have now learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary
as part of our daily lives. But have you ever wondered what it would
be like if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, press 1.
For Spanish, press 2.
For all other languages, press 0.

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests.
Press 2 for Thanksgiving.
Press 3 for Laments.
Press 4 for all other inquiries.

I am sorry; all of our angels and saints are busy helping other
sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us, and we
will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2.
Holy Spirit, press 3.

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are
holding, press 4.

To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then
enter his or her social security number, followed by the "pound" sign.

For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N, followed by the
numbers 3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about life on other planets, how to reconcile God's existence with evil that occurs in history, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

Our computers show that you have already prayed today. Please hang up
and try again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 am. If you are calling
after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local
rector.

Thank you, and have a heavenly day .

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Pictures guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

Filed under: * General Interest • Animals • Humor / Trivia

The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct....

"It's just an illusion," a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. "Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless."

According to witnesses, Finance Committee members sat in thunderstruck silence for several moments until Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) finally shouted out, "Oh my God, he's right. It's all a mirage. All of it—the money, our whole economy—it's all a lie!"

Read it all.

Filed under: * Economics, Politics • Economy • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Watch the whole video.

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Sports • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

The courage I have needed to prepare and present this address would not have been possible without help from John Calvin and Jürgen Moltmann. In his only recently discovered book, Second Thoughts from Geneva, Calvin wrote, "Theology should be serious but not solemnly without humor." And in a recent issue of Theology Today, Moltmann said, "Critical faith has achieved a reflective and free relationship with its basic traditions."

Guided by such considerations, I want to make a plea for a genuine examination of the bonsesquilistic theology of Guido Buonofunacci as of peculiar importance to the ecumenical potentialities of our time. Rightly understood, I believe that Guido anticipated the work of Luther, Calvin, the Council of Trent, George Fox, Jonathan Edwards, Karl Barth, Paul Tillich, Harvey Cox, and Sam Keen, among others.

Until the great modem scholarly study of Buonofunacci by J. C. Smith, and some much more modest unpublished writings of my own, it is remarkable and reprehensible that Guido has simply been ignored by both Catholics and Protestants ever since he completed his twelve volumes in the fourteenth century. It is true that the slow development of printing in his time delayed for years the publication of his works in the modern book sense. And his writing Campanola and became Bishop of Pizza, be found time for his potential reading public. His was a relatively tranquil time. After he left his long pastorate at the Church of the Holy Buttons in Campanola and became bishop of Pizza, he found time for his voluminous writing. And by the date when his series was actually published, Luther, Calvin, Erasmus, Ciuto, Gebovitz, von Gliesbar, de Tuil, and others had entered the theological front stage. Without close examination, Protestants wrote him off as a Catholic. Catholics ignored him because he disliked Latin and Italian. Italians neglected him because he had written twelve books.

What a lot of fun--read it all.

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia • * Theology

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Children • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

It was Palm Sunday and, because of strep throat, four-year-old Stephen had to stay home from church with a babysitter. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, Stephen asked what they were for.

"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his mother explained.

"Wouldn't you know it," Stephen fumed. "The one Sunday I didn't go, He showed up!"

Filed under: * General Interest • Humor / Trivia

Filed under: * Culture-Watch • Music • * General Interest • Humor / Trivia