USA Today: Young guys try to read society’s road map for behavior

Posted by Kendall Harmon

It's a rough road to manhood for young guys, who more than ever are finding themselves confounded and conflicted about what "masculinity" means.

Behavioral researchers say being a heterosexual male used to mean being macho, but guys today get mixed messages on all fronts as they navigate sex, drinking, friendships and the future.

"The social messages … about how to be a good person or a good guy vary quite widely," says Glenn Good, professor of counseling psychology at the University of Missouri-Columbia.

Joseph Hammer, 23, who is working on a master's in counseling at Missouri, hears a lot of competing messages. "Your parents tell you things. Your friends tell you things. Your teachers tell you things. You see things on TV."

Read it all.

Filed under: * Culture-WatchMenSexualityYoung Adults

2 Comments
Posted August 27, 2008 at 7:58 am [Printer Friendly] [Print w/ comments]



1. Sidney wrote:

Well, sure, the feminists tell boys all sorts of silly nonsense about women being different now than they were 50, 100 years ago, and they expect guys to be different now.  It fools some like it fooled me for a long time.  I’m guessing most guys are more wise to this than I was.

But I don’t think the messages are any more mixed than they were when I was a kid 20-25 years ago.

August 28, 2:01 am | [comment link]
2. Sick & Tired of Nuance wrote:

American woman gonna mess your mind American woman, she gonna mess your mind American woman gonna mess your mind American woman gonna mess your mind Say A, Say M, Say E, Say R, Say I, Say C, Say A, Say N, American woman gonna mess your mind American woman gonna mess your mind American woman gonna mess your mind American woman, stay away from me American woman, mama let me be Don’t come hangin’ around my door I don’t wanna see your face no more I got more important things to do Than spend my time growin’ old with you Now woman, I said stay away, American woman, listen what I say. American woman, get away from me American woman, mama let me be Don’t come knockin’ around my door Don’t wanna see your shadow no more Coloured lights can hypnotize Sparkle someone else’s eyes Now woman, I said get away American woman, listen what I say. American woman, said get away American woman, listen what I say Don’t come hangin’ around my door Don’t wanna see your face no more…

The womyn of America are dangerous traps for men.  With 40-50% of all marriages ending in divorce, men [like me] are fools to marry.  If you marry, you have about a 50% chance of losing half of your life savings, half your house and property, and half your pension.  On average, the 40-50% of you who get divorced can expect it to happen after only 8 years of domestic bliss. 

Men, do not delude yourself with the notion that because “she is a Christian” you can escape this fate.  According to Barna, Christians [even born again ones] divorce at significantly higher rates than atheists and agnostics.  Here are the rates broken down:

Non-denominational - 34%
Baptists - 29%
Episcopal - 28%
Pentecostal - 28%
Methodists - 26%
Presbyterians - 23%
Catholics - 21%
Lutherans - 21%
Atheists/Agnostics - 21%

Come on men, let’s all sing a few verses of Kayne West’s classic Gold Digger:

She take my money when I’m in need
Yea she’s a trifflin friend indeed
Oh she’s a gold digga way over town
That dig’s on me

[Chorus:]
(She did me wrong)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I’m Need)
But she aint messin wit no broke n——z
(She did me wrong)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I’m need)
but she aint messin wit no broke n——z
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)
get down girl go head

That’s just for starters.  People who are not the biological parents now raise about 63% of all children.  Men, pay close attention: As of 2002, there were 7.8 million Americans who paid about “$40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).”

The odds are about 9 to 2 that the womyn will get custody of the kids and you will be a wage slave until they graduate.  If you are a very good boy, you might be allowed to see them when it’s convenient for your ex…like when she has her boyfriend come over to what used to be your house.  She will also be slowly poisoning their minds about what a terrible person you are and painting you as simply a biological ATM.  Now for the real kicker…your kids, the ones that you love and are paying all that child support for, are going to suffer.  Womyn can’t handle the job of raising your kids alone.  Look what will happen according to the US Census:

“Fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 90% of homeless/runaway children, 85% of children with behavior problems, 71% of high school dropouts, 85% of youths in prison, well over 50% of teen mothers.”

Oh, and by the way, if there is even a hint of domestic abuse, the man always goes to jail.  She may go too, but the man will always go.  He is assumed to be the guilty one, no matter what.  Don’t forget, verbal abuse counts too!  The unsupported accusation is enough for you to get arrested.

NOTE TO THE WOMEN OF AMERICA:

If a man of today marries you, he is insanely in love with you.  He is risking his fortune, his future, and his children’s future on you.  For him, the odds are like a coin toss that he will lose half of EVERYTHING he owns and his children.  His leap for love is amazing and you should treasure it.

I am very happily married to an American woman and have been for 17 years.  I made this insane leap of love, and I do not regret it.  My beloved is beyond compare.  God has blessed me and given me grace in my marriage.  I don’t deserve her.  She is a gift to me from God.

I love my wife.  I fear for my son.  I educate my daughter.

August 28, 9:59 am | [comment link]
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