I think I need a diuretic after ingesting that salt metaphor overdose.

Vacuous. 
Out of her depth.  Pun intended.

Ah yes, our Lord so strongly said, “You are the salt of the earth, but only in moderation, as we do not wish to appear to be radical and to upset the finely tuned balance of evil and good.  Rich man, keep most of your salt hidden, for later use.”

The theological mind of a junior high schooler

Slightly edited by elf.

If one were to analyze “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife” by riffing metaphors out of the word “universally” (perhaps with an aside on the energy states of the early “universe”), and conclude that Jane Austen was “energetically” arguing for the “universal” declaration of human rights, what sort of grade would your essay deserve?

I am not sure that putting salt on plants is the best way to help them photosynthesize - might get rid of the slugs though, just before the plants expire. 

I have no idea what her references have to do with the biblical reference to salt and light which is about flavor.

A sermon without a single scripture reference…